Signs You’re From London (But Live Elsewhere In The UK)

  • When you travel outside of London, you’re referred to as ‘posh’, whether you’re from Forest Gate or (legit proper fancy) Notting Hill. Silently, you’re convinced it isn’t you with the accent…
  • 24 hour Tesco is a rare privilege you’d been taking for granted all. this. time. People want to get home to their families? How dare they – it’s midnight and I want Texas BBQ Pringles here and now.
  • Tea is apparently a meal as well as a drink, and nobody has lunch because they’re all having dinner before their tea. Everyone agrees on the concept of breakfast though, which is nice.
  • The novelty of Camden Market wore off after copious empty-handed visits as a teenager, yet you’ll relay nostaliga-tinged memories to make your centrally-located youth seem inexplicably cool. 
  • Chips and gravy make so much sense: carbs + OXO = xoxo <3.
  • People ask if you’ve ever seen anyone from Eastenders on the tube, and you invariably answer yes like the walking stereotype you really are. Bonus points for Ian Beale (Adam Woodyatt).
  • “You sound like you’re from LANDAN!” is not just a line from a film when tipsy strangers come across you and your Southern vocal chords. Your laughter is fake each time.
  • Bus journeys require pound sterling and phrases like “a return to town please” – this is charming while simultaneously alien to your anti-social transport tendencies.
  • You’re ready to defend generalisations of ‘more expensive’ pubs/clubs and foods from tourists who stayed in Central/North London only and thus know nothing of LDN LYFE.
  • You witness the gentrification of places like Walthamstow and Hackney from afar, amazed at how ‘professional graffiti art’ and gastro-pub conversions apparently make an impoverished area trendy for the rich. You pray for it to stop.

Finally, when you revisit the capital, you notice how cockney everyone around you sounds, how wide the streets are and how much has changed in the ever-progressive metropolis since you left to adventure elsewhere. It’ll always be home to you.