How To Tell The Signs Fancy You: Scorpio Thru Pisces

Scorpio – Oh, you’ll know. Scorpio’s may be private people but their determination to have you will be crystal clear. To clarify, if a Scorpio bothers to strike up a conversation with you, you’re interesting at least. If they talk to you exclusively and bestow personal information upon you, you’re in, Flynn. You’re a mystery they want to solve. It’s a good idea to keep a little intrigue but a bad idea to play games deliberately: mind games are this natural psychologists’ territory and only they are the puppeteer. However, once you show them you’re a genuine person with good intentions, they’ll make you feel like the only person in the room. You’ll be surprised with romantic gestures (yes, even in 2017) and there won’t be any shortage of devotion. Their aura is one of sexual magnetism so watch out for sparks flying between you. It’s all or nothing with these ones.

Sagittarius – These guys aren’t shy! Energetic and boundlessly optimistic, they have a lust for life that’s hard to beat. Bearing that in mind, the Sagittarian love style is straightforward with a no-frills approach. Time is of the essence so your texts will be replied to at lightning-quick speed; I once dated a Sagittarian guy who got annoyed because I didn’t respond in less than a minute on Whatsapp. There won’t be much second-guessing because the golden rule here is: are they planning adventures with you? It’s not just a stereotype – the Sagittarius is future-oriented so if you’re included, good news! The only catch is their intense need for stimulation so make them laugh and shower them with attention. Take it one step at a time…

Capricorn – You’ve just stumbled upon the most mature archetype in the zodiac wheel. A Capricorn wants a partner to build with or a casual plaything for the crumb of free time they have on Wednesday evenings… and nothing in-between. They’re happy to live without love but if an alluring prospect comes along they will get to know you slowly. The key here is a steady build of mutual respect. At first they will avoid you because flirting doesn’t come naturally to them but once they trust you enough…prepare for their devilish side to show. Is the once shy Capricorn showing you a side of them nobody else sees? You’re in the running. But tricks won’t get you far unless you’re a grounded soul with patience and similar ambitions.

Aquarius – Ah, so you’ve got a thing for the social scientist that is Aquarius. Independence is their strong suit and a poker face is their protection. As an air sign, they seek connection through conversation but are happy to keep it light…unless you’re worth investing in. If at all physical with you, I would take this as more than casual flirting. If they want to figure you out, they’ll stalk your social media accounts, ask your friends about you and place you on a pedestal. Here’s a crucial clue: the water-bearer is proud of their individuality so odd remarks and unconventional personal questions are all tests to see if you live up to their standards. When an Aquarius goes beyond skin-deep with you, they’re into you. Don’t be deterred if the dates are more like hang-outs because any special effort to spend time with you should be called upon…

PiscesShall I compare thee to a summer’s day? If you want an indication of how romantic a Piscean can be, Jon Bon Jovi falls on this season… then again, so does Adam Levine, a notorious lothario. Easily the most emotional sign of the zodiac, a Pisces will turn to mush around you if you’re the apple of their eye. They can’t help it. Emotional support will be freely given along with an empathetic ear because it’s in this intuitive sign’s nature. A cynical Pisces is one who has been hurt badly but the silent hope of an everlasting lover is never far from their mind. To compensate for feeling things deeply, Pisces have a silly sense of humour so expect them to win you over by excessive giggling and pun-making as well as more traditionally romantic methods. In order for them to sleep with a person, there must be an emotional connection first! Something to watch out for is how much they open to you instead of merely listening…then you’ve earned their trust, and should tread carefully with their timid hearts.

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How To Tell If The Signs Fancy You, Aries Thru to Libra

A useful checklist of egoistic behaviours each sign displays when attempting to seduce someone into their starry force field of lurrve.

Aries – If a Ram is into you, they won’t be shy about showing it. Do their eyes light up when you walk in the room? If so, they’ll quickly initiate conversation with their best friendly face forward and an aura of pure adrenaline. I also wouldn’t be surprised if you catch them surveying your anatomy as they make the bee-line towards you. Don’t think you’re Columbo, though. It was an accidentally-on-purpose move to signal their interest. Fueled by a lust for life, expect some play-fighting and don’t be offended if they say something they thought would be funny but is actually just mean – they’re trying to show you some affection without looking weak. It’s a delicate balancing act for a sign who hates feeling vulnerable.

Taurus – It’s all in the eyes. Is your Spring-born friend burning a hole into your back? I get you’re facing the opposite way but…you can feel the glare. A Taurus lives firmly in the material world so once they have a crush on you, you’re basically already their possession. Dependent on the depth of feeling, it will take some time before they make a move officially because steady relationship-building occurs in the meantime. Please, don’t bother explaining that your aunt Deborah just got married again because they Facebook stalked your profile pictures and basic info’ section as soon as the first butterfly fluttered inside their belly. Any flirting will be done through getting more tactile with you as you’re shown their softer side. These Bulls will win you with slow dedication.

Gemini BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. Are you hearing a lot of that on a regular basis? Excellent. You have managed to sufficiently sustain their attention for more than 2 minutes! You must be a hoot. Their nervous disposition will magnify in your presence. If a Gemini is talking to you the most, you’ve got to keep their interest with your conversational skills. You’ll receive a lot of messages that vary from the mundane ‘hey’ to the extravagant ‘I remember you saying you liked ___ and I also like ____’ because they crave an intellectual bond above all things. Then they’ll go off the grid for a few days while they change their minds about you. Weirdly, inconsistency is a good sign because it means you’re being considered, and not just anyone will do for picky Gemini!

Cancer – How are you feeling today? Is your mum feeling better? Can I offer you some advice on that minor issue so I can gain your trust as a reliable stepping stone to winning you over? Cancerians are in-tune with their emotions and as such, emotional support comes first. All texts are returned reliably and well thought-out, with emojis and a gradual release of private information they don’t just tell anybody. You’ll receive ‘hello and goodbye’ hugs too. It’s always a sweet affair when they want to woo you. As a sensitive sign, watch out for them being off with you for being slow to respond on Whatsapp or something else seemingly insignificant. Sentimentality is a part of their genetic make-up. Be gentle: to them, love is everything.

Leo – Are you ready to enter into a grandiose love story? Good. So is your Leo crush. They are experts on how to flirt and it’s all textbook moves: fluttering eyelashes, charming remarks, expressive body language… What you have to understand is that you can’t just say ‘thank you’ to a compliment. That expectant look on their face? It’s in danger of turning into a flustered eye-roll if you don’t admire them right back. Their fantasy is to be in a power couple so they’ll push you towards that dynamic by acting as if you’re already long-time lovers. When you’re around they’ll put their best show-stopping theatrics forward so they have your full attention. If they have money, they’ll buy you gifts. If not they’ll convey affection through their most lusted-after commodity: their time.

Virgo – It’s all in the details. A Virgo is emotionally detached by proxy of their perfectionism and fear of failure. When you speak, they’ll ask a lot of questions to determine whether you tick all the boxes on their ‘Potential Human Mating Partner‘ checklist. Incredibly thoughtful types, they’ll remember every minute of conversation you have. Here’s an example of them digging you: “Don’t you have to drive to Liverpool this Saturday? It’s forecast to snow so avoid setting off until 11am. If you want, I’ll help you de-ice your car so you can get away quicker.” It won’t all be sweet gestures of doting service, and here’s where you scratch your head – they’ll openly criticise you. You’re slicing that lemon all wrong, your hair isn’t as neat as it was yesterday, you don’t know how to spell ‘occasionally. Frustrating though it may seem, it’s a sign they care. If a Virgo is speaking to you, it’s likely to be exclusive. Go easy on the displays of affection.

Libra – Watch out for that infamous charm offensive. People pleasers to the core, a Libra flirts with everybody so they can win their favour. If they flatter you, I wouldn’t take it personally. Deep down, every Libra believes they have player potential. But away from the superficiality, they have idealistic fantasies about harmonious partnerships where nobody argues & nobody gets hurt. If genuinely interested, their earnest side shows. Cue sweet smiles (instead of the pacifying saber-toothed grin), laughing at every joke you make, and interesting conversational pieces. That band you mutually love will be slipped into conversation. Logic is their lover, and you are the mistress they blow hot and cold with while they disguise their commitment issues in pursuit of other pleasures. Like hanging with their buddies; friendships don’t come with messy feelings. If you’re special, you do. And if you’re patient, you’ll have a loving partner to build with. Just give them space, and keep up your appearance while you’re at it. It’s important to these Venusians.

How To Simplify Your Dating Life. The First Installment – Does He/She Like Me?

This is the first in a series of posts regarding all things relationship-oriented.

Cards on the table, I’m not exactly leading by example. My love life has been a continuous cycle of disappointment subverted as life lessons but maybe these adventures elevate my counsel beyond lucky-in-love Larry. As we grow older, we each yearn for more calm than chaos in our personal lives; self-indulgent sad songs lose their pathos and the security of a loving partner overtakes the appeal of infatuation. I hope to be more useful than the usual block of body language cues but like a bad boy with commitment issues, I promise nothing.

Above all, actions speak louder than words.  Make sure you pay attention to what somebody shows you via their behaviour instead of hanging off their words, which can be easily affected. Judge a prospective love interest’s worth in relation to how they treat you: this person might be smart, funny and devilishly attractive, but if they’re not treating you well, they aren’t worth the chase. Often times, once we decide we like somebody, we’re stubborn about changing our minds. We rationalise poor behaviour when really it should make us take a step back.

Sparks and ‘gut instincts’ can lead you towards wishful thinking but you can’t make somebody change who they are, so don’t waste time trying. You’ve got a life to live.

If you have to look for signs that someone likes you, they aren’t that into you. If they were, you’d know about it. Always remember that.

When people give off mixed signals, they usually have mixed emotions, or they’re playing a machiavellian game where your feelings aren’t a priority, which is even more shady. Either way, you shouldn’t be too invested at this point. Until they’ve made their intentions clear, don’t get hung up on one person. I know it’s hard but keep your feelings in check and your options open unless you have the ‘exclusivity’ thumbs up. (Or down). That way, you won’t be a heap of disappointment if nothing happens between you. Think of it as an insurance policy on your fragile little ticker.

All attention comes from attraction. Sometimes the object of our affection will approach us or message ‘how’re you doing?’ and we wonder if they like us or if it’s just nothing. Well…it’s both. If someone asks you questions, talks about things you like and compliments you frequently, of course they like you! Do you spend time opening up to people you have no interest in? No, and neither do they. Maybe it wasn’t cupid’s arrow but there’s some level of interest going on. Don’t get carried away on a love cloud but don’t downplay it either. If you enjoy an interaction without analysing it too much, you’re guaranteed a better outcome. Otherwise you fall into the trap of putting somebody else above you by focusing too much on what they’re doing.

Assume your appeal has been noticed until you’re shown otherwise. Self-worth is not only desirable but absolutely crucial. What about you? Are you enjoying their company? Do you like what’s being said? If not, change the channel. Only you control your life.

Keep your emotional investment balanced. Brain chemistry fizzles like a mentos in coca-cola when we start talking to a person we like. It can become addictive. But this current crush isn’t the only thing of value in your life. You have relations with friends, family and your work that all need maintaining and it works in your favour if you’re leading a well-balanced life. It makes you more attractive and improves your mental health. Make equal time for each section of your life and I promise your love life will only benefit, as counter-intuitive as that might seem. Always remember that even if someone is interested in you…it only matters as far as their actions do. Just because they like you, it doesn’t mean you’re going to get together. Until it does. And that’s the crucial piece of wisdom to remember…take it all one step at a time.

Happy crushin’.

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 Highly Recommended Female-led Films

Thanks to the unreliability of movie marketing, our understanding of what ticks our proverbial boxes is often unreliable. How many times have you thought you’d love a film because it has X Y & Z, only to walk out feeling short-changed? Or dismissed a perfectly good comedy the first time around because the pink colour-blocking and female strong cast made you believe it was a cliched rom-com? (I’m almost exclusively thinking of Bridesmaids here).

This is where I come in. A long time believer that women are just people, I’ve compiled a list of female-led films anyone can and probably should watch, since well-rounded characters are infinitely more interesting than reinforcing stereotypes. Plus, the imaginative process inspires our empathy in a way that factual storytelling simply cannot. Please be aware the main criteria is ‘films that are good and happen to have women in them’. If it’s not got credentials, it’s not getting in.

Most of these I saw as a teen’ but still consider timeless for the screen.

Thelma and Louise

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Ridley Scott directed this early ’90s classic. Sociopolitical and visually stunning, with an ending so iconic it still gets referenced in popular culture today. Mix with ingredients like Susan Sarandon, 1/4 of the cast of Resevoir Dogs and a shirtless Brad Pitt, and you’ve got a hearty 130 mins of craft mastery in front of your peepers. Essentially a road trip gone wrong, two women grow tired of their suburban housewife roles so escape in search of freedom, only to be met with the inevitable misogyny they sought relief from. Its tone varies from light-hearted sentimentality to heavy-hitting wisdom, mostly from the wise Louise, so you learn as you laugh.

Erin Brokovich

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Based on the true story of an ordinary woman who managed to build a legal case in protest against contaminated Californian drinking water without any technical expertise, this is a rags to riches story where success stems from one woman’s compassion rather than self-serving greed. History was made thanks to Erin’s courage and resourcefulness. It’s inspirational to watch a person succeed despite the odds in a noble crusade because her goals are philanthropic and really, what’s more badass than defying expectation to fight for what’s right?

Mermaids

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Fun and frollocks. That’s the perfect way to describe this flick. Superstar Cher plays the effervescent Mrs Flax, while a young Winona Ryder and Christina Ricci entertain alongside her wily ways. It’s a defiant nod in the direction of independence juxtaposed with the coming-of-age need to fit in. The dialogue and direction of this film is whimsical and yet entwined with a wholesome aura that says ‘accept yourself for who you are’.

Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion

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Off the walls (but firmly on the ceiling), Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion is the zany 90s comedy we don’t get blessed with enough nowadays. If I wrote the copy to advertise it, I’d convey the central message: it doesn’t take itself too seriously. One of my favourite elements is the use of flashbacks because character backstory gives us a chance to vicariously cringe at universal high school experiences. Afterwards we’re left with the maturity of realising our enemies are “a bad person with an ugly heart and we don’t give a flying fuck what you think.” That’s about as deep as the film gets since it’s mostly silly irreverence and flat-out fun.

Heathers

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The original Mean Girls but with black humour and a young Christian Slater. Veronica is the part-time badass you identify with as she navigates tricky high school dynamics and the allure of sociopathic men with dimples…we’ve all been there. Every line is memorable and you’ll be saying ‘fuck me with a chainsaw’ in the face of crisis for decades afterwards. ‘Sass’ levels are off the charts so if you want more savage insults at your disposal, Heathers has got you covered.

My Brother Julius

I come from a big family. My immediate family contains several generations, ranging from my folks; born in the 1940s, to me, a 90s kid. I’m the youngest of 5, which is a fortunate position in some ways. I’ve been blessed with the wisdom and support of my older brothers and sister over the years. My eldest brother is 19 years older than me. (A crazy big age gap, I know). Like any milennial blogger, the necessity of gratitude is just as familiar a concept to me as it is to Julia Roberts in Eat Pray Love. And as such, here is a list of reasons as to why I’m grateful to Julius.

Useful and Kind things Julius has done for me

Awoke nightly to feed and comfort me when I was just a weepy baby.

Let little me watch Beavis and Butthead with him, thus making me a punk-ass metal child \m/

Took me to Elhap, an adventure playground where I could play all day with other kiddies.

– Took me on memorable trips with said adventure playground, like the time I had my face painted like a ‘multi-coloured butterfly’ and stayed on the swings for literally hours.

When I was 11, he took me to the cinema one summer to see lots of different films, including Pirates of the Caribbean, School of Rock, Lizzie McGuire movie etc. We saw LOADS of films.

He used to walk me home from school, often buying me crisps and chocolate to treat me. Some slight rule-breaking going on here as my parents weren’t as keen on the sweets.

In the 2000s, he took me to Amnesty International meetings and encouraged my empathy for those seeking asylum at a young age.

Every year he buys me extravagant birthday cards and presents. Always huge cards and thoughtful gifts.

As a young whippersnapper, he gave me books on astrology because I enjoy indulging theories about the universe and spirituality, as does he. Not many people are so open-minded so that’s a stroke of luck.

His poetry circle is vast and he invited me into his online poetry community so I can attain feedback on my words if I so wish, as well as reading other contemporary poets.

Lastly, and perhaps most cruicial of all, he tells me vital pop culture information, like the fact R.E.M refused to play ‘Shiny Happy People’ because it got too popular maaaaan, or that Elvis has the same birthday as David Bowie.

There is obviously more but I have to cut the blogpost off somewhere eh?

Thanks, bro. 

5 Steps To Selfie – How to Pose for a Photo

Some people love to point their phone’s camera right at their face for some radical selfie loving while others dread the lens in self-conscious trepidation. No matter which side of the spectrum you fall upon, the impromptu photo is an unavoidable way of life and it pays to be prepared!

Love or loathe to pose, you have the chance to turn a chore into an art form – measure your selfie know-how against this short checklist so you can put your best face forward at any given moment.

  1. Face down, eyes up; instantly more flattering than a straight-on shot.

  2. Smile with your eyes; Tyra made ‘smize’ happen for a reason. 

  3. Decide what you’re doing with your mouth; pout, pursed smile or toothy smile.

  4. Tilt your head from left to right to see if you have a ‘side’; Most people have a preference.

  5. Three popular go-to poses; peace sign, hand on hips, tongue out.

Memorise a particularly hard-hitting one of these vanity morsels so you’re armed with ammo the next time someone slings a camera in your face without much warning, or for when you find yourself in the midst of a self-portraiture crisis but still want to look bangin’.

Selfie ready? You woke up like this (*WINK*)

12 simple cures for temporary sadness

1.Cook yourself a huge portion of your favourite meal so you feel full of love (and more importantly, food).

2.Watch some comedy! Viral videos, comedy shows, pranks, sketches etc. Go back to old favourites if you know they’re guaranteed to make you laugh.

3. Open up Messenger and click the name of a friend you love to talk to. Don’t be afraid of rejection – they want to hear from you! 

4.Look at inspirational quotes on Pinterest, Twitter, Google Images… let the words do the positive thinking for you.

5.Pick an item from your To-Do list and make it a Done list.

6.Help anybody that needs it, from your best friend to a homeless person. Focus on giving out hope and you’ll receive it back.

7.Seek comfort! Go to sleep : wake up happier. Win.

8.Acknowledge how you feel, accept it, then let it go.

9.Listen to upbeat songs to curb any dwelling on feelings early (it doesn’t matter if the music is classified as cheesy). Bonus points for dancing around uninhibitedly.

10.Think of the last 3 compliments you received and let yourself believe them.

11.Dig for gratitude – this includes any good experiences occurring in recent times to you or anyone else, whether big or small. 

12.Do an everyday activity that feels suspiciously adult as a victorious distraction.