Music videos of my childhood in the 1990s: Bon Jovi – Always

Before we begin, please admit that you’ve mimed the chorus while doing the power ballad air-grab at some point in your life. Once you have stopped living in denial, read on.

Smoulder me good, Jon.

Possibly the quintessential portrayal of (rock) music video melodrama, ‘Always’ incorporates everything: big hair, guitar solos, explosions, long shots of city streets, infidelity, fancy dress parties, and baggy denim. Mini-movies like this take the blame for my idealised view of adult life as a hedonistic whirlwind marked by passion and really, really good-looking people. Speaking of which, we see Jon Bon Jovi at his aesthetically pleasing peak in the band close-up shots, with a hairstyle I would like to see re-appearing on the faces of more men, please and thank you.

Throw those veggies at ’em! I’m with ya.

To veer away from my shallow appreciation, the song is sentimentality in a 6 minute punch. Nowadays, hit songs rarely invoke contemplation on what it would be like to care indelibly for somebody who isn’t yourself, and definitely not to this extent: “if you told me to die for you, I would.” Dramatic declarations are too late to save the couple on screen however, as the Mick Jagger-mouthed protagonist cheats on his beautiful, fun-loving girlfriend with her flatmate in a decision nobody has ever understood. I can remember watching the video on VH1/MTV as a young whippersnapper when my brother relayed to me the thought process behind the man who stared a regrettable action in the face and said “yeah, I’ll do that!” It was basically akin to a 2 year old seeing a forbidden sweetie and grabbing it, only this was a grown man who should know better. As you can tell, I have never forgiven Jagger-mouth for his wrongdoing.

He ruined his shot at redemption when he enacted an arson attack on an unsuspecting artist who lived down the street. In what can only be described as the most glamorous one night stand of all time, a beatnik man in a black turtle neck jumper painted a portrait of the lovelorn lady while they inbibed white wine and listened to Bon Jovi, probably. Our protagonist felt entitled to rage upon this incident as he has no control of his emotional impulses, and admittedly, this fits the song perfectly. The storyline fits, entices and enthrals you… Link below!

Bon Jovi – Always

Hallelujah!

I’ve just finished bouncing around my bedroom with flailing arms and open-mouthed expressions in mimicry of Brendon Urie’s enormous mouth. My reason for doing this? Panic! At The Disco have released an official video for their inexplicably happy current release, Hallelujah. Many, many songs are called Hallelujah but this one is 184 seconds of unbridled ecstasy.

Panic! At The Disco – Hallelujah

Until now, those of us who rediscovered pop-punk music with a new perspective (pun intended) had to contend with an emoji-based lyric video that probably made obsequious marketing execs at the record label rub their palms with repulsive glee. While the new, maze themed video reminds me of Monument Valley; an iPhone game, and falls short of intensifying the euphoric melody, it does satisfy my need to watch Brendon Urie dance in two different outfits: a smart-burgundy suit and a James Dean style leather jacket. I search high and low for happy songs and develop obsessions when I actually find them.

Panic! At The Disco have made catchy albums in recent years, with a more mature and refined sound emerging every time they hit the studio. Hopefully this upbeat anthem uses the rhythmic clapping in the final chorus to spare us of the disingenuous dirges thrust upon us by big label bosses and sad men with guitars. ‘Stand up, sing Hallelujah!’ 

Music videos of my childhood in the 1990s: Aerosmith – Crazy

Aerosmith: Crazy

My view of this mini-movie has evolved since childhood: somehow, the sleaziness of wanting your 17 year old daughter to star in a puerile fetishization of lesbianism only became apparent to me over time. (Here’s looking at you, Steven Tyler). As a child, I missed the implied lust in this 6 minute jaunt-around-town. Little me chose to just see ‘Aerosmith chick’ Alicia Silverstone breaking free from the oppressive school regime alongside her fun-loving pal, and longed to be a part of their world.

I just figured it got really warm in America land.

First stop on the mini road trip? Steal numerous sunglasses from a petrol station while an indifferent shop worker aids your thievery. 1993/4 was a renaissance period for Aerosmith, enabling the Toxic Twins: Steven Tyler and Joe Perry, to rake in dollars like it was still Ye Olden Days. However time is cruel and this era could now be considered retro, while viewers wonder why the pair would steal in front of CCTV so brazenly. Sike! Not every shop had CCTV cameras in the 20th century; the only lens they were performing for was the male gaze. *Mic drop*

Rad: suited-up Silverstone rebelling with her exhibitionist friend

But whatever, it still looks like a party to me! A photobooth, androgyny on Silverstone’s part, and the expert pranking of a semi-naked farmer; a portrait of reckless youth. When I was a young’un, music videos were only shown at random on the TV, and therefore my emotional attachment to this tale of two runaways grew stronger for every hour I sat in waiting. Other entertaining events unfold, including a pole-dancing Liv Tyler mimicking the Aerosmith front man perfectly because he is literally her dad. There’s also some skinny-dipping in a lake – shedding our protagonists of all that 90s denim. After the fun is had, ‘Crazy’ is furrowed into a field by farmer boy’s driver-less tractor as the girls ignore a hitchhiker in pursuit of more adventure. Badasses’ with top banter, before anyone used that word in earnest. Oh, what happy days they were. Proceed to the video link below:

Aerosmith – Crazy. (1994)